Am I wrong for thinking someone in their 30’s and 40’s flirting with 18 year old is gross?

OneHallyuRefugee

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I said this somewhere and interestingly I got a lot of backlash from men whereas a lot of women seems to support this. Am I wrong for thinking like this? The reason I find it a bit gross is there’s going to be a huge power difference between the two and I feel like the older person might take advantage. But now I feel like a shitty person for thinking like that lol
 

Hormones

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Even as a 21 year old I wouldn't date someone younger than 20. I don't see the appeal of dating an 18 year old, it gives me bad vibes they literally still teenagers, at least let them mature a bit. And a 30 year old is such a different stage in your life, at that age you really shouldn't even be thinking about 18 year olds, way too much of an age difference.
 

PockyAddict89

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don't like it at all, it's sorta gross af to me. I had to endure older men being gross when i was 18 to me and it's sorta tramatizing af.

and plus as a 30 year old woman, I prefur people my own age or a few years older than me, i'm not attracted to anyone younger than me.
 

abra

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For me it's both yes and no. I think it depends on the kind of flirting.

You are not wrong, the respective ages represent total different stages in life, to be attracted to a 18 year old while being in your 30s or 40s is just straight up screaming 'í'm a predator'.
I'm pretty sure most people are (like 90% or more) though? Atleast physically. With that said idk since I'm a couple decades away.
 
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Zweig

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H+ hypocrisy
40 yo man dating 18 yo girl: that's gross! It shouldn't be legal
40 yo woman dating 18 yo boy: she's enjoying her life! Go girl!
 
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jin

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You are absolutely not wrong for that. You're looking at a at least 12 to 22 year age gap (potentially even more than that.....). Where I live, an 18 year old is either in their last year of high school, or they're about to start college. They're barely old enough to vote or buy tobacco or join the army. They can't even purchase alcohol legally yet. Where as a 30-40 year old has so much more experience in life.....they could have had a career going for years at that point, they could have children from previous relationships or a previous marriage, etc.....they are just at completely different life stages. What would they even have in common?
 

eden

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well it's your opinion so it can't be wrong or right. i agree with you i find it gross but ppl who doesn't they're "not wrong" just have a different opinion.
 
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lusobr

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Finding things gross or not isn't a matter of wrong and right for the most part. You are well within your rights to feel however you wish about this. It's more about how you express this. If you go up to a happy couple that has a big age gap and start preaching how wrong they are and how gross their relationship is, then that is wrong. If you just keep it to yourself and don't bother them, that is completely fine.

I personally agree with you. It is very predatorial and imo taking advantage of someone that has less maturity to know better. But of course it is a case by case bases, and not all big age gap relationships are the same. Some 18 y/os are very mature and some 30+ are very immature. From my experience most cases are a bit disturbing though.

The difference in life experience and generation is alo a big reason why I find it very weird. I find when talking with people a lot older/younger that it is really hard to find common ground. Even if you have similar tastes there are way more topics you can't even understand each other because of the difference in age. Of course there are exceptions, but they far a few between.
 

denizen mars

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It is gross. Old perverts need to stay in their lane and find someone their own age and sagginess level, but of course they don't because it's easier to impress some 18 year old without a lot of life experience. I'm 27 and I wouldn't date an 18 year old, even though I'm 'young' for my age (I don't have an established career, I don't drink or have many 'adult' hobbies, and I have a bit of a baby face). 18 year olds are gen z and don't remember a life without internet or pre 9/11, and that's a gap I just can't bridge
 
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Vanille

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I'm 21 and didn't have internet till I was like 12, very much remember that life, so does my 17 year old brother lol

Some of my childhood friends didn't even have a tv...

@denizen mars quote didnt work...
 

BianTwo

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You're not that wrong but depending on your age you don't have the same perception. But 18 yo my god that's so young to be with a person in it's 30's-40's. The more age gap you have the less you maybe have in common

But I think couple with +10 age difference are more widespread than expected ? I don't have any sources thought.