[SENSITIVE CONTENT] You don't want to read this if you're not ready for me.

[eunnie]

TRIGGERS WARNING.
IF YOU'RE LOOKING UP FOR FUN READING DON'T ATTEMPT TO READ MY WORDS AT ALL. I WARNED YOU.
IT'S ONLY TO THOSE WHO MAY CONCERN.

Spoiler: Again, this is not for fun

Spoiler: Really, I warned you

Spoiler

It's not a super heavy issue but I think I'm having a hard time trying to endure this.

I know we can fail in our own passions at times. I experienced that before so I'm aware of these failures that can come to me anytime. I'm well aware of that. But, this time somehow, I failed on my own passion, and failed to bounce back from it. I get frustrated with my mistakes, regretting, and how I couldn't bring myself to fix them. I even failed to bring myself to fix things when I'm given the chance. But when the door was closed, that's that. Everything else closed for me too.

I thought I'm going to be alright after some time, especially since I've been put somewhere that I can't afford to think about this and commit to them instead in the real world. Right after I fell apart, I had to start my new life immediately. I didn't have time to take a rest, at all. I've been working ever since and almost neglecting my other commitment of life, studies. My new life at work, somehow related to what I've been doing. It's been a few months and I tried to look back, it seems like I'm not improving, it's worsening. I think I totally cut my ties with people that affected by my mistakes. And those people aren't not some people I just knew, they are part of the people who shaped my life..

Spoiler

The after effect, which is beyond what I thought I would end up, is where I am right now. I failed to be as bright as I used to, even worse is that the quality of my passions declining and keep declining. It affected how I could tackle my passion at work. I couldn't do what I always did and it keeps on frustrating me, little by little, destroying my life from inside.

My passion is graphics and events.

Due to this, I feel like I lost a sense of belonging of most places. I feel like I am a total stranger now. I was and am still feeling sorry for everything that I've done. I ruined things, and pretty much ruined my own life along with this process. I'm sorry if this post will affect you in any way but, I think I pent everything by myself enough. I'm on the verge of dysfunctioning rationally so I have to let this go.

But thanks, for everything you're putting up with me. Thank you. I'm sorry for all the troubles, including this one right now.

If you really reading this out of curiosity, I'm sorry for having you to read this junk piece of words.
I won't make any other post like this ever again. Maybe I'm not going to post ever again.

I'm sorry.

 

[UMJI MOODS]

As I have said many times in the past, in the present and will say in the future, I am always here for you. You are my friend and will continue to be in good times and in bad.

 

[Rose Gold]

Try reading Feeling Good by Dr. David Burns. It might help.

 

[Carnation]

I'm a very literal person, i don't read between the lines well and tbh i'm having trouble telling what even happened from your description. Did you mess up at work? or not get accepted into a program or something you were trying to? Dealing with failure is a really important skill because everyone fails, lives are messy and don't go to plan. I think you need to talk to someone or in the very least read some advice on dealing with failure. if you google it there is lots of interesting techniques.

 

[Seunghee's Eyebrows]

As I have said many times in the past, in the present and will say in the future, I am always here for you. You are my friend and will continue to be in good times and in bad.

 

[Grape Soda]

When your passion becomes something that runs your life it is no longer a passion. I know several people that decided to go for a passion as a lifes work and it caused them to become depressed because what made them happy was not enough for their employer. A passion is supposed to make you happy. Take a step back and look at your open options. Os the work or is it what is expected of you

 

[DR. K💉M 👄]

somehow eun, I believe that you'll be able to bounce back. You are smart, and so often a lot stronger than you think. There's also people around you who care for you and are there if you need. I hope you won't keep thinking about mistakes and do what it takes to feel better!

 

[fromisEJel]

Chingu. If you ever need someone to talk to, I will be here for you. Okay?