Beefy
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a rant once again
It really sucks when you think you have friends you can rely on. But in reality, they don't give a shit about you. You're just an extra, unimportant, and insignificant. And it fucking hurts, because they'll always say shit "I'm here for you" but they fucking aren't. My emotions are in a whirlwind rn over fucking nothing. I hate people, I don't want to talk to anyone ever again, I hate it. I hate that I'm like this. I hate that I constantly isolate myself and then complain about being friendless. I hate that I can't make BFF or a close friend. I want all my feelings to leave forever. After this week I'll be happy, I get to leave and never see these people again. I was never truly there anyways.
After crying for a long ass time over this situation, I've come to realize I have serious issues. I want to get some professional help but all my parents did was take me for a diagnoses and nothing else. I want to get medicated to keep my empotions down 100% of the time, who cares about the side effects. As soon as I graduate I'm getting the necessary help I need because now I'm an emotional mess and feel like I'm going insane
After crying for a long ass time over this situation, I've come to realize I have serious issues. I want to get some professional help but all my parents did was take me for a diagnoses and nothing else. I want to get medicated to keep my empotions down 100% of the time, who cares about the side effects. As soon as I graduate I'm getting the necessary help I need because now I'm an emotional mess and feel like I'm going insane
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How are you doing now? That's terrifying! I'm glad that everyone wasn't hurt or worse. The only thing I can suggest is if you can, see a counselor to talk about it and help you handle those feelings so they don't overwhelm you. Hopefully you were able to do that since you posted. I'm sorry it took so long for me to reply here but I'm going to explain why in a separate post. Sending lots of cyber hugs if you don't mind those!
thank you, I’m still skittish about car rides but I’m now seeing a therapist about it now. And it’s helping me improve bit by bit.
joo
ϟThe Chosen OneϟThere’s a difference between feeling happy and feeling elevated and I hate to say it but to me it’s the same I’m okay with whatever comes first.
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Why is it that someone criticising me for the most trivial things has so much of a negative effect on me, I hate this...
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i break everything i touch
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I really wasn't in a great place at the end of last week. I just shut down mentally, I really couldn't cope. I'm taking two tablets a day now since the doctors said I could until my current supplies end and I can get a stronger prescription. Getting away from everything helped. It sucks being a burden. It sucks more that the only person who reached out to me was my old high school friend who I haven't seen in three whole years (we started talking online again this year, but not often). I think in the new year I need to step away even more.
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Looks like I'm holding up this thread... hah...
I feel guilty but then I feel like fuck, this ain't my fault.
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My brain hurts. Every time I work I can't think straight. Is it my medication? Is it my own mind? I'm worried I'll lose my job over it.
Nieve
Nuguthe month-long depression starting to kick in. Ahh shit, here we go again™
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Please don't respond.
Its getting to the point where I don't think I'll ever be truly happy again. Nothing excites me anymore, and I feel like I have to fake happiness whenever something that's supposed to be a good moment happens. I have moments of happiness but they don't last long and I'm back to feeling miserable again. I don't know what to do.
Beefy
Billion Dollar Bitch- Joined
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I want to isolate myself from everyone again. I can’t even talk to anyone anymore, it all just feels so fucking fake. I fucking know no cares about me and I’ll die alone. God, I wish I could just disappear without a trace. I can’t wait until I’m older it’s easier when you’re by yourself
S
Some
GuestPlease dont respond
Bullies litterally should go to hell or atleast feel the same pain they cause people i mean just stop wasnt it all over with and done ? I hate this having to continue to hate someone to the rest of ur life is exhausting we are too old for this at least i am i am a person who dosent hate either i solve it but its too late now and honestly i dont give that much fucks about u or i just dont care and continue with my life and forget i litterally just have no feelings at all but public display of mean acts even though you dont address me directly is still mean and annoying what are we highschoolers ? Maybe ur idk i dont know u that much XD i just hope u feel the hurt u caused me i dont wish u to be unwell i dont care about u that much i just wish u to be annoyed uncomfertable stressed the moment u cause those feelings to me i only stayed around for the good people i met today / recently lets just go back to pretending like we dont know each other being mean just proves how right i was all along
A new year coming scares me, mostly because its a reminder I’m still alive even though I’m not sure I want to be.
I think I might go through with it and finish it once and for all. Life goes on and people move on. Who really cares.
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I forgot to take my meds the other day but I actually didn't realise until I was home. I had a great day, and it's the only time I've forgotten my meds and been okay.
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joo
ϟThe Chosen Oneϟ.
D
Drew
GuestReally useful. If anyone want some advice, contact me via PM. I'm here for you.
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i feel so tired and unhappy most of the day for the past few months and i don't 100% understand why. I feel like everyone notices it at this point, or at least my mom always points out how i don't look excited about anything anymore. I think today is the worst about it, I've been crying on and off today and now i have a headache. i just want to stay in bed.
Doing menial tasks is so hard for some reason, an its affecting my relationship with my mother
I get really upset thinking about my upcoming semester in a couple of days, i want to take a break, but i know i cant do that
Doing menial tasks is so hard for some reason, an its affecting my relationship with my mother
I get really upset thinking about my upcoming semester in a couple of days, i want to take a break, but i know i cant do that
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